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Tuesday, 10 April 2007

Crucial Minutiae, bad boys and nice guys

Wow! Crucial Minutiae is good. Right up there with 3QD. I especially like their weekly (feminist-friendly) column on masculinity: Punch-for-Punch by Ethan Todras-Whitehill (HT: Hugo Schwyzer).

There isn't nearly enough sensible talk about masculinity. As a woman, I have access to a large body of literature about the way cultural notions of femininity affect me. Men, however, have little recourse to anything besides pop culture and shoddy journalist generalisations.

A comment to this post raised an interesting analogy between the virgin/whore dichotomy for women and a nice-guy/bad-boy dichotomy in men. In particular, the idea is that women date (or marry) nice guys, but they'll have sex with bad boys. Fascinating and quite possibly true.

In some ways, I wonder if behaving like a "ho" or a "bad boy" is a way of signalling that you're looking for casual sex. So when men complain that women like bad boys, there is a real phenomenon there -- that a woman who doesn't actually want a relationship is more likely to have sex with someone who has a bad boy image because that's a situation where she can take it as given that it isn't necessary to behave like a "nice girl" who won't have sex unless she is in, or at least interested in, a relationship. Part of the whole 'bad boy' image is a very overt sexuality. If you want sex, it makes sense to go for a guy who looks as if he wants it.

Me? I like that moment when a (genuinely) nice guy lets a little real sexuality slip...

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